Monthly Archives: May 2014
“All of the above.” I’d like to thank those of you who participated in the little poll from the previous post. I was honestly just messing around with it to see if it would even work. If anyone has other suggestions about a free and easy to use poll thing-y (yes, I’m very technical here), please let me know! I have some ideas for its use in the future especially if I ever have time to sit down and let the creative juices flow (no, not that other kind).
Anyway, we had some relatives over on Memorial Day, and before everyone left, we decided to play a dart game called Killers (I know, what a great name for a game!). I guess I should note that of those of us who were playing, I’m the one who has played darts the least amount of time; therefore, my life expectancy in the game wasn’t very high. We continued to play rounds knocking/striking each other off the board until it was just my fiancé and myself. We were at the point where he could win with a single dart and I could win with two. He would throw his three darts and miss, then I would throw my three darts and also miss. It was honestly starting to get quite boring…that is until he decided to whisper something in my ear as he passed. “You’ll get 25 per strike.” (Yikes! We all know what that means.) Well, I already had one strike on him and still had to get two more to win the game, but he only needed one. I have to hand it to him – he certainly knew how to make the game more interesting!
During my next turn, I nailed the second strike. LOL, “So, that’s 50,” I thought as I passed him with a smile. He returned the smile but didn’t make any headway in winning. A few rounds later, I did it (75)! He couldn’t beat me (at least not yet 😉 hehe)! I knew he wouldn’t do anything that drastic in front of relatives, so I just smiled sweetly at him. After we walked everyone out to the driveway and bid our farewells, my Love and I went back in to take showers.
By this time, it was actually getting pretty late and we were both definitely tired, so we relaxed and snuggled a little. Then, I turned to look at him and asked, “Does that mean I get a raincheck?”
He replied, “Nope!” and hopped out of bed looking for the new wooden paddle.
I couldn’t help but laugh as I rolled over exposing my backside. He started first with both cheeks and then he would alternate either side or both randomly. I knew he couldn’t be hitting very hard, but I could definitely feel the burn and the building deeper ache. It didn’t take long before he decided to stop and move on to other activities. I was certainly more than ready when he entered me roughly from behind and set a hard, fast pace. Believe me, I could tell the paddle had been back there, but everything just felt so good!
After the fireworks, I went to the bathroom and glanced in the mirror. I was a lovely shade of dark red splashed with some minor bruising. I rubbed a little and could definitely feel the deeper ache that reminds you what just happened was real. My fiancé looked up from the bed and I gave him a goofy, embarrassed smiled since he caught me looking. Then, I went back to bed where we cuddled until we drifted off to sleep. It was a good end to a long day.
As a follow-up note – the next day, I learned how not to plop down onto my chair at work. ;-P
Why, it’s so…er…nice to personally meet you, New Paddle. Now that we have been properly introduced, I’d like to thank you from the bottom of my bottom for the achy-ness I’ve been feeling today!
🙂 Yep, on Monday night, I received my first real spanking with the new paddle from Cane-iac and now I have all the lovely after effects to prove it. So, the big question…
|Why was I paddled?|
|It’s a new implement! Have to break it in sometime!|
|I won a game of darts called Killer!|
|Do I really need a reason?|
|All of the above.|
|pollcode.com free polls|
Please tune in next time to find out!
Wow, my last post made it onto Chross’s “Spankings of the Week” List! I’m almost at 2,000 views in less than 2 days which is pretty big for me since I only just started blogging again. Pretty exciting! My thanks go out to Chross and to everyone who has taken the time to stop by! Hope to see you all again!
Want to know what else is exciting? My fiancé is in the process of making our very first handmade paddle (3/4″ thk. x 3 1/2″ wide x 20″ long)! He still has to sand it down some more, stain it, and seal it. I’m pretty sure I’ll want to tone down the sassiness when he’s holding that in his hand! I’ll post a photo of it when he’s finished.
In the mean time and to add to the weekend’s excitement, I also received two new implements (one wooden and one leather) from Cane-iac in the mail! Needless to say, I am currently sitting on a slightly sore bottom today, but I’m definitely game for more playtime with our new toys!
Enjoy the rest of your Memorial Day weekend, Everyone!
- Lubrication (Usually too much friction is not a good thing.)
- Friction (Use lubrication.)
- Penetration (Oh yeah? Where are you going to put that?)
- Nuts and Bolts
- Studs (No, you aren’t a muffin, so quit looking at me like that.)
- Screw (Screw who?)
- Erection (Yep, that was pretty hard to get up.)
- Nipple (Imagine a male engineer explaining what a nipple is to a female engineer. LMAO)
- Rod (Spare the rod? Nah…)
- Pressure (Just put a little more pressure right here.)
- Male/Female Fittings (Yes, the male end fits into the female end.)
- Vibration (Hmmmm….)
- Heat Transfer (Boy, it’s getting hot in here!)
- Impact Stress (For me, impact relieves stress.)
- Plug (Yes, I’d lube that up too before putting it in there.)
- Holes (We have holes for screws, bolts, shafts, and rods. Just insert yours here.)
- Ruler (You can use it to measure but I can think of other uses for it.)
- Bottom (Oh, where’d that ruler go?)
- Bending Moment (Be careful where you choose to have that moment! Especially since he just found that ruler!)
- Pump Suction Head (Right…need I explain?)
- Drive Shaft
- Strap it down (Sure)
- Tie it down (Sounds like fun!)
- Spreader Bar (What? Did you say just say spreader bar? Damn, I’ve been wanting to try one, but I’m definitely not that limber!)
A guy named Roger is driving his girlfriend, Gloria, home from dinner one night, when Gloria says, “Do you realize that, as of tonight, we’ve been seeing each other for exactly six months?” There is silence in the car. To Gloria, it seems like a very loud silence.
Gloria (thinking): Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he’s been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I’m trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn’t want, or isn’t sure of.
Roger (thinking): Gosh. Six months.
Gloria (thinking): But, hey, I’m not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I’d have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are…I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?
Roger (thinking): So that means it was…let’s see…February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer’s, which means…lemme check the odometer…Whoa, I am way overdue for an oil change here.
Gloria (thinking): He’s upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I’m reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed, even before I sensed it, that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that’s it. That’s why he’s so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He’s afraid of being rejected.
Roger (thinking): And I’m gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don’t care what those morons say, it’s still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It’s 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600!
Gloria (thinking): He’s angry. And I don’t blame him. I’d be angry too. God, I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can’t help the way I feel. I’m just not sure.
Roger (thinking): They’ll probably say it’s only a 90-day warranty. That’s exactly what they’re gonna say, the scumballs.
Gloria (thinking): Maybe I’m just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I’m sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I truly do care about, a person who is in pain because of my self-centered schoolgirl romantic fantasy.
Roger (thinking): Warranty? They want a warranty? I’ll give them a warranty. I’ll take their warranty and stick it right up their…
Gloria (aloud): Roger?
Roger (startled): What?
Gloria (her eyes filling with tears): Please don’t torture yourself like this. Maybe I should never have…Oh God, I feel so…
Gloria (sobbing): I’m such a fool. I mean, I know there’s no knight. I really know that. It’s silly. There’s no knight, and there’s no horse.
Roger: There’s no horse?
Gloria: You think I’m a fool, don’t you?
Roger (relieved finally to know the right answer): No.
Gloria: It’s just that…It’s that I…I need some time.
Roger (after a 15-second pause during which he is thinking as fast as he can, trying to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.): Yes.
Gloria (deeply moved, touching his hand): Oh, Roger, do you really feel that way?
Roger: What way?
Gloria: That way about time.
Roger: Oh. Yes.
Gloria (gazing deeply into Roger’s eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.): Thank you, Roger.
Roger: Thank you.
Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed and cries until dawn. Roger goes back to his place, opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he could ever understand what. He figures it’s better if he doesn’t think about it.
The next day Gloria calls all her best friends and talks about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail they analyze everything she said and everything he said, considering every possible ramification. They continue to discuss this subject off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions.
Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Gloria’s, pauses just before serving, frowns, and says, “Norm, did Gloria ever own a horse?”
The second one I found @ http://weknowmemes.com/2011/10/his-her-diary-on-the-same-day/
2) Try not to assume anything. If in doubt, ask.
When you think of acceptance, usually what comes to mind is the act of either being accepted by others or you accepting others who may or may not be different from yourself.
Suddenly I’m not sure if I’ve made the right choice. A wave of fear washes over me and I’m about to get up and tell him to forget about the whole thing when his hand moves to my back, pushing gently but firmly and keeping me in position over his knee.
“It’s ok, I’ve got you.”
It should be illegal to have a voice that sexy. That was my first thought on meeting Mr Matthew Holder four and a half years ago. Actually that’s a lie, my first thought was ‘What an arrogant, pompous ass!’. To be fair to him I had arrived in the middle of a rant against the state of British tennis, a sore topic for a man who once dreamed of Grand Slam finals. I later discovered him to be one of the humblest, kindest men I’ve ever met and the love of my life, a far cry from my first impression but at least I was right about the voice.
I still can’t quite believe my luck. It’s hard to comprehend how I, indecisive, disorganised and ever so slightly loopy, managed to ensnare this beautiful man, but I guess the world works in mysterious ways. Two and half years into marriage and I’m still crazy in love with him, to the point where it’s almost embarassing and as far I can tell he feels the same about me. Wonders will never cease.
However, there is one rotten apple in our basket of bliss.
The sex is ok. Just ok.
Now, I know you can’t have everything in life but I just don’t understand it. It’s not like he’s awful or inexperienced or anything and he usually makes sure that I cum, but it’s like something’s missing. It’s almost as though he’s holding himself back. If I’m honest so am I but I’d hoped that I would be able to please him without needing to express the part of me that I try so hard to pretend doesn’t even exist. I love him too much to risk losing him because of something stupid like a fantasy.
That used to be my mantra anyway. I don’t really know how I got to this point, I think the champagne cocktails Matt kept ordering for me last night may have had something to do with it. It was my birthday and he took me out on the town to celebrate, stating that I deserved a bit of glamour and fun. There was plenty of both up until the moment he started asking about my fantasies. I’d been sober every other time we’d had this conversation and I’d managed to fob him off with some creative bullshit about candles and rose petals. I thought I’d convinced him until I saw the look in his eyes, clear as day even through my champagne induced haze. He was using my inebriation to get his own way and if I hadn’t been so impressed by his plotting I might have been angry.
As it was I simply assured him that I knew his game and that no matter how drunk he got me I wasn’t going to tell him anything about the spanking thing.
Yes, bring me all your secrets everybody, I’m unbreakable. Except when a little tipsy and confused, in which instance I crack like an egg. So much for my pride.
I don’t really remember much about the rest of the night, but I do know that, unfortunately, it wasn’t a dream. After a long morning in bed recovering and lots of tea and nurofen, Matt brought up my drunken confession. I tried to brush it of as a joke but he just stared me down and eventually I quietened.
“It’s ok. Look at me. Do I look like someone who’s freaking out because his wife’s confessed she’s a little kinky?”
I rolled my eyes but then couldn’t resist sneaking a peak at him. He actually looked radiant, can you say that about men? He looked calm and excited all at once and in a split second it occurred to me that this might turn out to be a good thing. A moment later my self doubt was back but I felt brave enough to at least talk about it and maybe even be a little honest.
“No, but you’re so nice you would probably be ok with anything I said and I couldn’t bear it if you did something just because you thought I would like it” I was proud at how mature I sounded and expected him to be blown away by my clear thinking logic and selflessness.
“Ok, first of all what the hell is wrong with wanting to do something just because it would make my wife happy, and secondly, how do you know you’d be the only one enjoying it?”
Pardon the cliche, but my jaw literally fell open.
His eyes twinkled knowingly at my reaction but he carried on regardless. “How do you know it wasn’t exactly what I was hoping you’d say? You have to stop making assumptions about me and what I think, you know me pretty well but sometimes you can hit completely off the mark.”
My mind was so thrown by this new development that self-censure went out the proverbial window, “You mean you want to spank me?!”, I wasn’t sure whether I wanted him to say yes or no. Luckily I didn’t have too much time to ponder.
“And much more besides.”
Well, this was a turn up for the books!
After even more tea and a long, agonisingly frank discussion about the finer details of our mutual desires and fantasies, I suddenly found myself bent over Matt’s knee with my knickers round my ankles and my arse naked and exposed. I was a little shocked at how simultaneously embarassed and turned on I was, I didn’t know whether to laugh or start humping his leg, but in the end I just lay there, waiting to see what would happen next.
As I waited my mind went into overdrive. Would he regret this afterwards? Would I regret it? How much would it hurt? Was I just being ridiculous, did I really want to be spanked for God’s sake, I wasn’t a child! Would he know when to stop? Would I want him to?
I was suddenly overwhelmed by all my fears and doubts and I went to stand up. It wasn’t too late, we could still brush the whole thing off and get back to our happy, normal, safe life and everything would be ok.
“It’s ok, I’ve got you.”
While still the sexiest voice I’ve ever heard (bar perhaps Johnny Depp) there was a strength and confidence in it that I would have sworn wasn’t there before and somehow it did feel ok. I loved him more than I’ve ever loved anyone and I trusted him with my heart, but the warmth and comfort coming from his hand on my back, the hard, solid feel of his legs beneath my body and the calm assurance and control in his voice gave me the courage to trust him with my body and maybe even with my soul.
My acceptance must have shown itself in the release of tension in my body as Matt reacted as though I’d spoken my thoughts out loud.
“Well done, you know I’ve got you. Just relax and open yourself up to me. I promise I won’t go further than you can take, you just have to trust me.”
“I do trust you”
“Good, now I’m going to start slowly and build up so be prepared. You may cry out if you need to and in fact I want you to, I don’t want you to try and hide your emotions, ok?”
“I want you to think of a word and if you really want me to stop for any reason I want you to say it. You will be punished if you use it prematurely but equally you will be punished if you don’t say it when you should. Do you understand?”
“I understand.”, I had no idea what he meant by ‘punished’ but my pussy was certainly intrigued and I couldn’t stop the frisson of excitement his words caused from making me shiver with desire. I forced my mind back to the serious issue of a safe word. I’d read about such things but had never really believed that I’d ever have to come up with one myself. I knew it had to be memorable and completely innocuous so as not to be misunderstood, but I also wanted it to be meaningful and unique to us.
It was almost too obvious but I knew he would get the double meaning.
There was a pause in which my heart pounded like a jackhammer in my chest, and then I felt the palm of his hand make contact with my ass for the first time. It was surprisingly real. I’m not entirely sure what I’d imagined but somehow the difference between fantasy and reality is the physicality of it, every sense alive with excitement and expectancy.
As promised he build up the spanks steadily, increasing the speed and intensity until I was gasping with every hit. It didn’t hurt exactly, at least not at first. It more like an overload of sensation, and the intimacy of the moment almost overwhelmed me. I felt so exposed, so vulnerable that I was surprised to realise that I was close to using my safe word. I had assumed that it would be the pain that would be my weakness, but I enjoyed the physical sensations of the spankings. The emotions it brought up in me were much harder to take.
As it went on the feelings of self doubt and fear seemed to bubble up inside me and I couldn’t keep them down. I was shaking as the spanks got harder and harder. I welcomed the pain but I feared the emotions, I daren’t let them free or he would see it all and that would be too much to bear. So I kept my mouth shut and tried my hardest to fight it, to fight the serenity of release that was beckoning me. I had wanted this for so long but now I was here I couldn’t do it. I hadn’t understood how much it would cost me or how much I would risk and I wished I could take it all back.
I fought and fought and fought until I had nothing left to give and I broke. If I could have spoken I would have said my safe word, but I couldn’t get my mouth to work. There was nothing left for me to do except to wait for the rejection that I knew would come.
Through all of my inner turmoil the spanks continued and now that I’d stopped fighting it I embraced the rhythm, the steady beat of his hand on my arse. I let myself sink into it and I found a peace that I’m not sure I’d ever felt before. I seemed to float on a sea of sensation and I allowed myself a moment of calm before the inevitable storm.
Suddenly it stopped. It took me a second to realise that something had changed. Keeping me on his lap Matt tilted my head up towards him, allowing my body to shift round slightly. I tried to avoid his eyes, unwilling to share this one last part of myself. As usual though his patience won out and I couldn’t resist looking up at him. I have never felt so exposed, so known. I waited for the blow, the cutting remark or mocking word that would slice through my heart like a knife, not knowing how I would ever recover from this and swearing never to drink again, I clearly needed to be sober to keep myself safe.
“I love you.”
What? I must have looked confused as Matt chuckled gently. “Why is it always so hard for you to believe? I’d think you had a hard childhood but your parents are wonderful and I know they always told you they loved you.”
“Do you know what, I thinks it’s because you don’t love yourself.”
“What? What are you talking about?” love myself, what on earth did he mean? I’m not arrogant, I know my own failings.
“You don’t think anyone could see you, really see you, see into your very soul, see you at your must vulnerable, when you hate yourself the most and still love you. But I do. I see you, all of you and I love it. I love you.”
I’m not usually good at emotional moments, I do my best to diffuse them with humour, but looking up at him from his lap, his hand resting comfortingly on my bare ass, I just couldn’t do it.
My voice broke as I replied, “Thank you, thank you so much. I love you too. And I’m sorry.” Suddenly all the emotion that I couldn’t release during the spanking broke free and Matt pulled me up into his arms, holding me close. I felt exposed, and vulnerable and known and my ass was going to be sore for a few days but I was loved and that made it all ok. I held on tighter as I imagined what my life would be like if I hadn’t met him, and I sobbed into his chest.
“It’s ok, I’ve got you.”
And he did, he had all of me, for as long as he wanted.
Since I was about 18 or so I have known I am sexually turned on by spanking and dominance. I accidentally ran across a “spanking magazine” and read a story about a young woman being spanked and made love to by her “Dom”. It turned me on so much I read that story over and over again until I almost had it memorized. By the time I met my husband and married him I had done as much reading as I could at that time (1982) on the subject and found many other forms of spanking and dominance had also turned me on. Somehow I just knew this little kink of mine was not a good thing and most people would never understand, so I had decided very early on, I would just have to keep this little dirty secret to myself. And I did until…
One night about 6 months after we were married we were lying in bed talking after spending a long time making love and he pulled me close to him, looked me in the eye “Tell me what you’re thinking”
This was a normal routine for us, since we were young and still learning I guess he had insecurities too that needed to be addressed, thus asking me on a regular basis my thoughts. As usual with me I was afraid to actually admit that I had been thinking sex would have been a whole lot better had he of taken me over his lap and spanked me slowly and sensually until my bottom was red all over and hot to the touch. Instead I answered that question as I always had
“Nothing, just enjoying the afterglow.”
At this point he would smile and hug me close to him and we would usually go to sleep, me lying on his chest and his body wrapped around mine.
This night however; was not going to be the same for either of us again. He sighs heavily
“Are you sure that’s what’s on your mind “little one”?
Those words made my stomach flutter and my sex starting twitching and began to get really hot. I looked at him, studying his expression, his deep blue eyes staring a hole through me, yet he was slightly grinning at me. I looked at him for a long time before finally asking,
“What would make you ask me that again?”
He sighed again and pulled me even closer to him and whispered in my ear.
“I think I know a naughty little girl who may need her ass spanked for not being honest with me.”
I was so stunned at his words, I actually jumped off the bed and stood there, literally shaking and starring at him, I couldn’t talk, my mouth was dry and my throat was totally constricted. His eyes began to sparkle and he broke out into a huge smile as he reached under the bed and pulled out my “collection” of books, magazines and pictures I had cut out of magazines of different spanking implements. I was so totally shocked, I felt my knees knocking and my legs become too weak to hold me up, I fell to the floor onto my knees, leaning back on my heels, I can feel the embarrassment flood throughout my body as my whole body to the top of my head blushed profusely. The whole time asking myself how in the hell he found the box, it had been hidden back in our guest room closet where I keep the extra blankets and junk I don’t want anyone to see. My hubby had been quite busy it seems and had actually taken the time to read my material and do a little research of his own. He had decided when the time was right he would let me know, as always with this man, he took his time and made sure whatever it is he’s involving himself in he needs to be sure he understands and knows what he’s doing. He reached over and wiped the stray lock of hair that had fallen over my eye, wrapped it around my ear and moved to the floor where I was kneeling and sat beside me, holding me tightly to his chest and then begins to speak. He turned my face so that I was looking into his eyes.
“Baby doll” (That’s my nickname he has always used for me) “Why didn’t you tell me you were into spanking and D/s?”
I was still unable to speak and leaned my head on his shoulder. He pulls me back and makes me look directly into his eyes; I see nothing but love and a whole lot of lust. Anyway, to make a long story short, I finally did open up and told him how turned on I get from spanking and dominance. He in turn opened up to me, letting me know he had never given it any thought until he stumbled across my “secret box”. He expressed a sincere desire to indulge both of us in this little kink of mine and had come up with all sorts of ideas he would like to try as well. We began our little journey that night as he pulled us both up off the floor together and sat down on the bed, slowly turned me over his lap and ever so lovingly spanked me until I was begging him to make love to me again. Needless to say, that night we slept maybe two hours and nine months later our first beautiful little boy came into this world.
Verogenous. “First Punishment.” Literotica.com. Literotica, 15 Nov. 2005. Web. 06 May 2014. .
Before I started being more open with my fiancé, we would have moments in bed just after making love where the dialogue for the beginning of this story could have been ours verbatim. Why didn’t I ever say anything? Because I was embarrassed! Because I hadn’t accepted that part of me. Because I wasn’t really sure of what I wanted, though spanking was certainly the predominating item on a very short list. How could I say “I want you to spank me…no, not those silly love pats. I mean really spank me.” Or, maybe I was wrong? Maybe I just thought I wanted it. Maybe it should just stay a fantasy.
Eventually, we did talk about it after I casually brought it up a few times. My fiancé has been a big help in getting me to be more open. He even realizes that spanking is a part of me – it is more than just a fantasy. He accepts me for who I am and now our communication is improving and our lovemaking has increased greatly. Even though this did take him by surprise and he was a little hesitant, we are helping each other work through our reservations and becoming stronger as a couple.