About a week ago, we tried playing a game of darts but found out that I had lost most of my ability to accurately control the darts. We hadn't played in about three months because we haven't had time to finish adjusting to all the changes yet. In the past when we would play, I would get spanked for the difference in our scores, but that night we didn't do anything extra because we had a guest sleeping in the next room. So, I ended up getting irritated and not really wanting to play.
Last night, my fiancé decided that I didn't have a choice and had to play a few dart games with him. We were going to spend some time together and this time when we played the Cane-iac paddle and double leather strap would be close at hand. Before the game even started, he picked up the paddle and "warmed" my backside up with his "nine" and then three harder punishment licks for giving him attitude earlier. I could feel myself start to release a tiny fraction of the pent up stress I've been carrying around. That's when I realized I really did need this.
I stood back up and we started our game. We were both a little distracted because we had moved a lot of Dad's things into the game room so we kept randomly going through boxes all while trying to play. I guess it worked it my favor because I won the game by 6 points. It was back over the large kitchen stool to receive 6 rather hard swats with the paddle. It hurt, but I definitely missed the feel of being spanked with something other than a cane.
We jumped into the next game and continued to try to put some of Dad's stuff away. Before my fiancé knew it, I was ahead in points and closing down any opportunity for him to catch up. Strangely enough, I can't remember what the score difference was but I'm guessing it was somewhere in the 50s. This paddling, I do recall, was delieverd at varying degrees of power and I was certainly feeling it.
The final game was much less interesting for me because I started losing pretty quickly. I guess he was paying more attention this time around. He ended the game with a damn good lead, so I went to drape myself over the stool again while he figured out the score difference. He had won by 92 points. Yikes! On his way over to me, he picked up the double strap. He dished out 62 licks at an even pace, pausing only briefly to switch the direction he was swinging. Oh, it was amazing to feel the kiss of leather again. For the next 30, he switched back to the paddle with the final 12 being harder than any had been yet. When I got up, I could feel a more lasting burning sensation on my rear and also some emotional relief from some of the stress that we've been under.
I know everything isn't back to normal, and I don't expect it to be for a while. Although it is getting easier, I still find it hard to concentrate at work for any length of time. We still have to deal with the stresses of finances and raising the two boys who don't really grasp what has happened. Sometimes we are strong and sometimes we are weak, but no matter what we are here for each other. We will get through this by taking small steps and by taking one day at a time.