I had many false starts when it came to writing a post this week. At first, I wanted to write about my father-in-law and get out how much we all miss him, then I changed my mind and wanted to write about how wildly life can change from week to week. But how I feel right now really sums up to the following sentiment which I found by wandering through Google images with the search phrase "it will be okay."
Last night, my fiancé held me while I had a small meltdown and cried. I tend to focus so much on taking care of others that I don't allow myself time to deal with my own emotions, so that when I finally breakdown or blowup, it seems that I'm really upset about nothing at all when it's really a bunch of things. That's just who I am. I can handle being thrown into a crisis by taking control, getting stuff done, and planning things out because I am levelheaded and can think clearly by pushing my emotions down. But in doing so, I stretch myself thin and wear myself out.
When the dust finally starts to settle, I begin to feel and that's when I need someone there to help brush the dust off of me. My fiancé has been that someone, and I am very thankful that we have been able to be there for each other. I know it has been extremely rough on us - both as individuals and as a couple, but I do not regret going through any of it together.