Forever and Always
I used to write stories of events that actually haven’t happened outside of my head. These were usually stories of things that I might have liked to have happened…for instance, if I wanted a conversation to go a certain way between Tom and myself, then I would make up a dialogue and scene to go with it. After reading it, Tom would understand where I’m coming from a little better and then we could have a conversation about it. This is one of those stories.
“Come with me.” Your expression tells me I shouldn’t argue, and you hold out your hand expectantly.
I’m not exactly sure what to think. Slowly, I reach out and you take my hand. You turn and you pull me toward our bedroom. You take me to the bench at the end of our bed and sit down before pulling me over your lap. Lots of emotions are running through my head – anxiety, excitement, slight confusion, and yes, even a little fear.
You rest your left hand on my waist and your other hand starts caressing my bottom. “I think it’s time for a change. You haven’t had quality time over my knee in a while, so I’m going to change that.”
“Umm…” You pop my bottom hard three times, but they don’t really make much of an impression as my jeans are still on.
“All I want to hear from you right now is, ‘Yes, Sir.’”
“Yes, Sir,” I reply quietly.
“Stand up for a minute.” You unbuckle my belt and undo the button on my jeans. Then, you slide them down to my ankles and tip me back over.
You start spanking in a light and playful manner at first. A couple of minutes go by before you say, “I know you miss this.” I nod even though it wasn’t a question. “Lift up a bit, My Love.” He slides my panties down and massages my cheeks. “You aren’t even pink, yet. Let’s try to fix that.”
You start spanking again but harder this time. Another minute or two passes.
“You don’t blog or talk about this as much anymore. Why do you think that is?”
I just shrug my shoulders. The next volley comes hard and fast from your strong hand. “Yes, you do know.”
You pause to grab something behind you. I don’t know what it is, but I have a feeling that I’m about to find out. Smack! “Oh!” It’s definitely made of wood.
Smack! “I think you’re afraid, but I’m just not sure what you are afraid of… Are you afraid of me?”
Smack “No! Ow!”
Smack! “Then, what are you afraid of?”
Smack! “I guess I’m afraid of getting hurt.” You pause and I can tell you are wondering if you are hurting me now.
Rubbing my lower back, you ask, “Does that mean you don’t trust me anymore? That you don’t trust me not to hurt you?”
“I do trust you…I just feel that it’s been so long since we’ve played that maybe my pain tolerance isn’t what it was and you may not remember that I’ll need a warm up. Also, I don’t always want to put any expectations on either of us when it comes to playing. And, I really don’t know how to tell you exactly what I want when I’m not sure myself.”
You start rubbing my bottom again which is starting to feel really good. “I guess it’s just become easier to not say anything whether it’s online, in a journal, or when we’re talking. I know I don’t want this to become repetitive to where either of us get bored….and I don’t want it to always be predictable.”
“Like this?” My rear is met with a quick few swats.
“Mhm… Sometimes I would like a spanking to be for fun or be more serious or be for naughty reasons. Sometimes I’d like more of a warm-up and/or more aftercare.” You throw in three hard and fast swats for each cheek.
“Guilt! Guilt is another reason. I feel guilty for wanting all of this in the first place. I know it isn’t easy for you. I think about spanking a lot and see lots of opportunities for it, but I know you mainly associate it with love making. I don’t want to burden you with something that I think I want…it’s not a need after all.”
You pause again, “Do you like giving blow jobs?”
“You know I told you that I used to hate giving them.”
“But you give me head and do it quite well for someone who can’t stand it. Why do you do that for me?”
“Because I love you and because I know you enjoy it.” You pick up the brush or paddle, again. “Oh! Ouch!”
“Exactly, so what makes you think I wouldn’t do the same for you and for the same reasons?”
“Yikes! Because… I know I’m not worth the effort!” My eyes start watering.
“That’s it. Stand up and look at me.” With tears in my eyes, I slowly look up at you. You hold my face in your hands as you look back at me. “I love you with all my heart. You mean the world to me. You need to stop thinking so badly of yourself.” You pull me in close for a firm hug that makes me feel protected.
“I want you to spend a few minutes in the corner in the hallway by our bedroom door. Put your hands behind your back holding your elbows, feet apart, and forehead against the corner. I’m going to fix the bed and then I’ll come get you. I am sorry that this year has been so rough on us and especially on you. I know it may not have seemed like it, but I need you to know that I’ve never stopped loving you. I want to be here to love, cherish, and protect you forever and always. Use this time to think about what I’ve said.”
“Yes, Sir,” as I turn to obey, he smacks my retreating rear.
…to be continued.