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I’m really not sure why it is so difficult to sit down and come up with a post these days. This time last year I was posting about once a week. How can I go from once a week to once a month or less?

Honestly, I think it’s become difficult to share things…to open up. I don’t want to complain about things because it sounds like I’m nagging. I also don’t want to make a huge deal out of good things because …maybe, I’m just afraid that they won’t happen again if I mention it a lot. So, I end up not saying or sharing anything.

Where’s the middle ground?

Why have I pulled away from blogging?

I do think about it at least once a week, but it’s like I’m afraid to jump back in. (sigh) I’m afraid of sounding like a broken record. Sometimes I’ll read some of my older posts and think, “I still feel that way,” or “that hasn’t changed.” Sometimes I feel like I’ve lost something…like I’m missing a good friend that’s moved away.

I don’t know how to talk about it because I don’t know what it is.

I sound really bummed out, but actually things are going pretty well right now. Work isn’t bad…a little busy at the moment, but I think I can handle it. Our families seem to be doing well or at least getting better. I think Tom and I are going to try to hang out more with one of my old friends and her boy friend. We got together a couple of weeks ago for her birthday and had a good time. I think we will plan another date night in a week or so.

I’ve started reading Livia Grant’s the Passion Series again…I really don’t know what it is about this series. I feel so connected to it, so emotionally involved, that the characters just come to life for me. The next book in the series will hopefully be released soon. I know I can’t wait!

This post sounds ridiculously random to me, so I think I’ll stop here and get some sleep.

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Question Time!

I’ve been trying to start a post for a couple of days now and just can’t seem to get anywhere on it yet, so I decided to go ahead open the floor up for a Q&A session instead.

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Time for questions!

I’ve never participated in one of these before, so I’m eager to see what questions you all may have for me. Feel free to ask anything. I won’t promise I’ll have an answer for everything, but I will certainly try! I will copy the questions and answer them in a later post.

Blogger or WordPress – WordPress or Blogger

So, you may ask why am I still posting on both Blogger and WordPress. Well, there are a few reasons.

1) Via StatCounter, I noticed not many readers are clicking the link to my new blog on WordPress.

2) Via WordPress Stats, there were maybe 10 visitors in the last week. Also, I have no idea how to get StatCounter working with WordPress.

3) WordPress has some cool features that I like, but so far a big issue I am having with it is that WordPress’ Blogs I Follow is not updating properly. It is either a few days behind or skipping updates altogether. (Right now, Hermione’s Top Shelf post isn’t showing on WordPress.)

4) Sometimes Blogger has compatibility issues with my iPhone browser (isn’t Chrome a Google-run browser? Maybe someone should remind them of that). Yesterday, I couldn’t comment at all because it wouldn’t load the comment box, then when it finally did load, my comment disappeared.

5) All my old stats don’t transfer from Blogger to WordPress which absolutely sucks. I’m sure I can figure out how to work around getting my favorite posts to show up on the side bars, but it is cool when readers are the reason posts are Most Popular and I don’t choose them myself.

All of these items have led me to where I am at the moment – in a holding pattern. I think the best I can do for now is really give both a proper try for a while, which means I will probably be posting in both locations. I love that there is a Like button on WordPress…I suppose I could activate the Google Plus thing and try that for Blogger. I also love the look and feel of my new blog, so maybe I’ll tweak Blogger and try a new look. (Maybe.)

Also, DtBHC brought it to my attention that fetblogger.com exists. It seems like a pretty cool idea, but I’m not sure how many people are currently using it. Also, is the interface identical to WordPress? Since I haven’t really gotten used to WordPress yet or decided to truly stop posting on Blogger, I think I’ll wait before really considering Fetblogger.

So, because I am being so indecisive, I’ll leave it to you which of my blogs you want to actually follow. My preference is actually Blogger for now – sorry for those that already changed links, feeds, etc. Also, since no one has made a comment on WordPress yet, I’m thinking maybe you could keep leaving comments on Blogger for now. Then, I’ll just re-import to WordPress later to keep comments up-to-date there. (Just a personal preference as I’d hate to lose comments before the dust settles…maybe I’ll disable comments on WordPress and leave a link to come back to Blogger…)

Sorry for all the confusion – just imagine what it’s like in my head at the moment. (sigh) I am definitely open to advice, tips, and comments about the blogging platforms, so feel free to comment.

Blogger’s Policy Change – Or Not

I was one of the many who received a notice of Blogger’s policy change regarding sexually explicit and nudity in photos and videos.  Granted, I don’t recall posting a single photo or video that would cause a problem, but since I’ve only been using Blogger a year, I figure now would be as good a time as any to switch to WordPress just in case I ever have the desire to post such things. My big question is…why would someone complain about seeing adult content when they are the very people who clicked “accept” in response to the adult content warning.

I’m sure there are blogs out there that teach people how to use a vibrator using visual aids. What about a dildo? Come on…there’s a visual aid on the tampon instructions, so wouldn’t they consider a video on how to use a dildo to be educational for the public? I mean wouldn’t you like the public to know that dildo is meant to go in this hole, not that other one, unless of course you want it there. That very same blog would in theory be allowed to show photos and videos on how to spank someone and avoid injury, right? Spank here, not here or here. The next post could include how to use an anal plug.

And, what about those who don’t use spanking as foreplay? Is that still considered sexually explicit?

This reminds me of how sex education has “progressed.” My mom tells me that when she took this class in high school there were videos and pictures. The students were even able to ask questions if they were brave enough. Now, fast forward to when I took sex ed. eleven years ago. My biology teacher handed us a copied chapter on the reproductive system (with sketches) from a textbook and said, “Here. This won’t be on the test.” That was it. And you wonder why there are more teen pregnancies than ever before? You didn’t even mention anything about birth control and condoms. No wonder so many women don’t have a clue about orgasms and how fun and exciting sex can be.

Why are we going backwards?

Anyway, like I said before, I am in the process of migrating to WordPress which, if my internet connection would cooperate, should have been done by last night. The power fluctuated on and off two days ago due to the crazy snow storm in the south…and last night my router hated me. So, with some amount of luck, I should be moved by the weekend.  See you where the grass is greener!

Edit – It seems the policy change has been taken back, but I think since I’ve already started the process of migrating I will go ahead and move everything.  This blog will remain open for the time being but I encourage you to visit my new blog. Please update your blogrolls, links, and feeds to be able to see future posts at https://relativity0218.wordpress.com

A Bit of Background Info

With some encouragement, I decided to take the plunge and start my own spanking-related blog. First, I decided a bit of background information was necessary to put my toes in the water, so here goes!

I knew I was always interested in everything to do with spanking.  As a child, I was rarely spanked because I was always a good girl, but I remember playing silly spanking games where one of us would pretend to be a parent and the others pretended to be naughty kids.  Of course being naughty would result in a quick spanking where we would use a foam hand-shaped flyswatter over the seat of our jeans.  No, a foam flyswatter does not hurt but it was all in good, silly fun and we only ever played once or twice.

Then in an upper elementary school, the teacher began reading a book called Boy by Roald Dalh.  If anyone else has read it, you’ll remember there were at least a couple of school scenes where corporal punishment was used on the main character.  I remember being glued to every word as the teacher read aloud and described each scene.  I never really thought anything of it – just that I found it a very interesting book. 

A few years later, I came across The Whipping Boy by Sid Fleischman.  This time I read the book on my own and kept going back to the scenes where the young boy was whipped on behalf of the purposely naughty prince.  I never knew why I liked it.  I only knew that I found it incredibly interesting.

When I was a teenager, we watched the Dead Poet’s Society in one of my English classes.  It had yet another scene where one of the students is paddled.  I really enjoyed the entire movie, but for me what stood out was that one specific scene. 

Inevitably sometime during high school when I was browsing the Internet, the temptation to search the term “spanking” became too much and there began my first online research of the subject.  For years when I had time a couple nights here or there I would find romance stories where spanking (male-spanking-female) was the main theme.  I would print out a few of them and hide them in my room to read at night before falling asleep.  As a late teen quickly heading for adulthood, I began to realize my excitement was sexual in nature and that spanking turned me on but that was always my secret. 

I only had my first ex-boyfriend and my best friend ever get close to figuring it out.  We were in high school and all on our way to a Friday or Saturday night movie and those two were having a conversation in the front seats about D/s.  They were joking around and trying to peg which of us girls in the group would most likely be submissive.  Some how my name got on the list to which I just rolled my eyes and said, “Yeah, right…” (I wasn’t embarrassed yet, more intrigued, but I was still thinking, “Deny, deny, deny.”)  Glancing back at me, my friend said, “You know it is always the quiet ones.”  Then, we all started laughing and I can’t remember where the conversation went after that.
Eventually I tried to share short stories from webpages like Literotica.com to gauge my ex-boyfriend’s (long term boyfriend at the time) reaction.  But, his interest really stopped at just giving me a hard smack as he passed and never progressed to anything further.  After almost 5 years of a long distance relationship, I broke up with him mostly because I felt we had grown too far apart physically and emotionally, and mutual respect had become a major issue. 

After the breakup, I pushed any desire for a new relationship and any strong feelings toward spanking aside and instead focused on finishing college and getting a job.  Honestly, that ended up working great because now I hold a degree in Mechanical Engineering, a minor in math and I own my own house!  LOL, talk about a young woman figuring out what she wants and getting it done – no wonder so many never suspected that I was a closet submissive who was into spanking.   To the world, I am a strong, levelheaded, independent woman who likes to play video games and work with my hands.

A little over a year ago, I started dating a guy who is quite different than any guy I had tried dating before.  He is rugged, yet kind-hearted; strong, yet gentle; opinionated, yet respectful.  We communicate more than almost any relationship I’ve ever been in.  Over the last year, I have very casually brought up spanking by just mentioning the word and reacting if he grabbed my backside or popped it playfully.

Close to the beginning of this year, I decided I really did want to talk about spanking.  I just wasn’t sure what to say and I also wasn’t entirely sure what I wanted, so what we did was have a casual talk about fantasies.  He didn’t criticize when I mentioned that spanking really turns me on when I read about it.   I’m sure at the time he assumed I just meant the playful spank here and there during sex, but at least he didn’t reject the idea.

So, that brings us to a couple of months ago, when we got engaged at the beginning of March.   Right after he proposed, he had me bend over the bed and he started to spank me!  He started very gently and eventually I pulled down my panties.  He never really spanked very hard or long that night, but we did end up making passionate love. 

We hadn’t really brought up spanking again in any detail.  I honestly wasn’t really sure what I wanted, so how on earth could I explain it to him.  I know I wanted something more, but what exactly?  Sometime in mid-March, I thought of a question that I couldn’t believe that I had never considered asking myself before.

“Why do I like spanking?”

I didn’t have an answer.  I had no idea why just that I had always been fascinated by it for as long as I can remember.  I decided to do what everyone does these days when they have a question … I asked the almighty Google search engine because suddenly I had to know why?

That’s when I wandered on to Bonnie’s blog My Bottom Smarts.  I spent the next month and a half reading through her ENTIRE archive.  Was it tedious reading through eight years worth of posts?  Yes, most definitely, but it was inexplicably worth it!  I couldn’t believe how open, how honest, and how real she was in every post.  Up until this point, everything I read I believed to be fiction – mostly just a fantasy that many people had but didn’t really live out.  I became even more intrigued and tried to absorb everything I could.

So, what did I find?

Suffice it to say, I learned a ton of information and gained a lot perspective.  I’m sure I still have questions and will eventually start “delurking” (LOL, yes, I have been wandering on Hermione’s, Erica Scott‘s, and PK’s blogs).  But, back to the question at hand – what did I find?  I found out that I am not alone, that there isn’t anything wrong with how I feel, and that we are all normal people living perfectly normal lives.   I also came to the realization that at least for me this is more than just a mere flight-of-fancy that’ll go away.  It is a part of who I am, and what is amazing is that now I can share all of who I am with my soon-to-be husband.

I want to openly thank Bonnie for everything she put into MBS for eight years.  Thank you for not deleting your archives and leaving up links to others!