Category Archives: Erica Scott
Six years ago…
Recently, I’ve been talking a lot about what I’m currently going through because that’s where I am. In my last post, I opened up and shared what happened a year ago. What I’ve been through takes up a lot of my time as I try to focus on recovering from the past, being okay with the present, and moving forward.
Today, I want to remember some good things. Looking back, May 2014 was a big month for me. On May 1st, I had worked up the courage to email Bonnie from the My Bottom Smarts blog. I had just finished reading her entire archive and it was the first time I reached out to anyone who talked about spanking as much as I wanted to talk about it. From her blog, I found links to several others. As I started exploring, I found a whole community of people who talked about everything from personal relationships to every day life to how they felt about and incorporated TTWD into their lives. A whole new world started to open up.
On May 5th, I wrote my first kink-related blog entry to introduce myself. I had no idea who would read it or what would happen. I just knew that I wanted to share my experiences and maybe find some friends out there. I had fun with it. I shared stories or books that I came across. I shared the fun kinky sex experiences. I shared things that I was hoping would happen. I shared the death of Tom’s dad and his resulting relapse into drug addiction. Then, I disappeared for four years, came back, and have been sharing some of what it’s like to slowly recover from being in love with an addict. I continue to share because I miss this community and because I hope sharing might help others.
On May 23, 2014, I reached out to someone who would end up helping me through some of the darkest times I’ve had in my life so far. At the time, she had already found my blog and commented on some of my first posts! (Talk about being really excited to be noticed by someone so amazing!) I had just finished reading her autobiography and was working through her blog archive when I sent my first email to Erica. I had no idea how important this first correspondence would be. Last year, I only texted two friends the day after I told Tom to move out – Erica was one of them. As my anxiety and depression grew into something I could no longer control and keep bottled up, she was there to virtually hold my hand, calm me down, and walk in circles repeatedly through the things that were consuming me. She encouraged my switch to weekly therapy and helped me open up. She knows everything about me. And would you believe it? She has never left my side. She was there and is still there every day. Our friendship means the world to me.
Going forward, these are the memories that I want to hold on to as I start to find myself again and let go of the past. As this month closes, I am ready for new experiences and new memories. It is time.
Just another strange day in lockdown during a worldwide pandemic.
Today is my 32nd birthday. So much has changed in the last year; but with everything that’s going on right now in the world, I feel like there’s just not much to be celebrating, including the day of my birth.
I do want to share something that has brought me a bit of heartfelt comfort during these tough times. I received a beautiful birthday gift from my dear friend, Erica. When it arrived in the mail a couple of weeks ago, I really needed a morale boost, so I opened it early. I have been wearing the bracelet ever since. 💗
I find myself looking at and playing with it often. In some special way, it can even help calm my anxiety a little by reminding me that I am loved and I am not alone. Thank you so much, SIS – I love you! 💞
Like so many of us, I had plans or plans in the making. All of which had to be canceled, so we can do what we can to protect each other and flatten the curve. I’ve been working from home since last Monday and have been trying to avoid going out as much as possible. I’m honestly afraid for so many of my friends because there are so many of us in the higher risk groups. Please be careful and be as safe as you can be out there. Don’t underestimate the power of caring and checking on each other with a phone call, text message, or email. Remember that whatever you are doing, you are doing the best you can. I hope to see all of you on the other side of this.
One Person Feels Less Alone
This is a book review I wrote a couple of weeks ago for Erica Scott‘s Late Bloomer. I posted it on Amazon, but I also wanted to share it here. (I love you, my friend!)
I honestly don’t know what I could possibly say that hasn’t already been said in other reviews. But, I decided I wanted to say something.
I first read Erica’s autobiography in May of 2014. I had come out as a spanko to my boyfriend and was just venturing into the online spanking community. After finishing her book, I emailed Erica, “I want to tell you that I think you are truly an amazing person. You have overcome a lot of rough trials during your life, and instead of hiding in a corner, you have been strong enough to continue living life and trying many new and different things that make it worthwhile. I am 26 years old and am amazed to find that I am not alone in the world. It is great to find out that others enjoy spanking like I do. I find that you are someone with whom I can connect even across the miles. I really hope that I can be as courageous as you have been (and still are). I enjoyed getting to know you through your book and I am now slowly catching up through your blog archive. I love that you are open and honest and that you put your real self into whatever you do. Seeing that we are all real people with real lives and real problems somehow makes it easier to deal with our own situations whatever they may be. We all have highs and lows, and we can all help see each other through both the good and the bad times. We all have a journey to make and meeting people like you help make it worthwhile.”
Six years later, I’ve gone through a bitterly rough breakup (from the boyfriend mentioned above) that has left me trying to find my way through grief, denial, PTSD, anxiety, and depression. I recently decided to pick up Late Bloomer and dive back into its pages. I find myself in a different place this time around, and I realize I didn’t quite appreciate everything that Erica had shared, gone through and survived, until now. In the final chapter, she writes, “…if any part of it strikes a chord, gives someone food for thought, provides a degree of comfort, or makes even one person feel less alone in dealing with struggles and challenges, then my efforts are further validated.”
Erica, my dear friend, you have done all that and more for me by sharing your life’s experiences through your book, your blog, and your emails over the years. Getting to know you and having the opportunity to develop our friendship has been so worthwhile and such a privilege. For all of that and for everything that makes you who you are, I am truly grateful and honored to have you in my life.
Browsing through old files…
I’ve been browsing through old photos and notes on my iPhone recently. I have photos dating back to 2011 and notes back to 2013. I thought that maybe it was time to start deleting and/or archiving things – things I didn’t want to accidentally come across that would remind me of my ex.
I guess now is as good a time as any to inform my returning readers that Tom and I broke up on May 8, 2019 after being together since February 27, 2013. A glimpse of some happier days from our time together is captured in the posts on this blog from 2014-2016. You are welcome to revisit or browse through the archive. You might be asking why I don’t just download and delete these old reminders of the past. Well, I guess that’s because the posts do hold a lot of good memories and feelings that I don’t want to forget. In addition to real experiences, I also have a fair amount of stories and scenarios that I wished could have happened. I think I owe it to myself to remember what I wanted then and what I still might want now.
Anyway, on a much lighter note, I wanted to share something I came across that actually has nothing to do with me, except for the part where I saved this particular blog post in my Notes app. It was posted back in 2015. I honestly didn’t remember saving this at all, until I went back and read it. And, wow, I definitely remembered why I saved it! This post has one of my favorite stories in it! So, now, I absolutely must give a shout-out to my wonderful friend Erica and encourage all of you to take a break and go read this. Erica Scott’s “Just Ask Me”